funny captions for instagram

 funny captions for instagram

today's post, I want to talk about :

  • funny captions for selfies
  • funny captions for pictures of yourself
  • funny captions for girls
  • funny captions for friends
  • funny captions for boomerang videos
  • funny instagram captions for friends
  • funny sarcastic instagram captions









































Funny Captions for Instagram
  • Girl, I will have to call you back.
  • If I hide, I bet you gonna seek.
  • It takes me like 3 days to wake up in the morning.
  • Life’s a soup and I’m a fork.
  • You know why they call it a selfie? Because narcissistic is too hard to spell.
  • If you ever miss the sun, just look at me.
  • My life’s a gigantic mess and I love it!
  • When life gives you sh*t, you make a catapult and hurl it back.
  • I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
  • Believe in your selfie!
  • Who’s that handsome devil? Oh, I clicked on my profile again.
  • I don’t trust only two kinds of people: (1) those I don’t know, and (2) those I do know.
  • It’s your next favorite celebrity.
  • Of course I talk like an idiot. How else could you understand me?
  • Pathetic but aesthetic.
  • Not heartless. Just using my heart less.
  • I’m genuine and I trust some of my devotees are as well.
  • I don’t know where I’m going but I’m on my way.
  • Growing up is such a hassle, I muttered to myself in my blanket fort.
  • There are no bad pictures. This is just how things are when it comes to my face.
  • Chilling like a gangster.
  • You know baby, I’d take a Nerf bullet for you.
  • You call it crazy? I call it fun!
  • Photobomb me at your own risk!
  • Don’t tell your girl about me. She might become a fan.
  • Pic of me being an idiot.
  • Teeth aren’t forever. Smile!
  • If my life was a series, it would be an awkward food-themed comedy show.
  • Not your baby boy.
  • If you see this, you have a dirty mind.
  • I’m the bomb, like tick tick.
  • Occasionally, it takes me a whole day to get absolutely nothing done.
  • I have no idea how to act my age. I’ve never been this age before.
  • Master of funniness.
  • Who’s a good boy? I am!
  • If you try to tickle, I won’t be liable for your injuries.
  • Hand me the burger and nobody gets hurt.
  • And the Darwin award goes to…
  • Some people have trouble sleeping, but I can do it with my eyes closed.
  • Do you know what’d look good on you? Me .
  • You marry so that you can know each other and the process lasts for infinity.
  • With great girlfriend comes great expenses.
  • Dear MATH, stop asking to find your X, she’s not coming back.
  • Make love, not war. Hell, do both. Get married..
  • My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
  • Newton’s law of love: Love can neither be created nor be destroyed. Only it can transfer from one girlfriend to another with some loss of money.
  • I don’t want to be in a relationship, I would rather be in a Range Rover.
  • One should always be in love. That is the reason one should never marry.
  • Honesty is the key to a relationship. If you can fake that, you’re in.
  • I know that somewhere in the Universe exists my perfect soulmate … but looking for her is much more difficult than just staying at home and ordering another pizza.
  • I m a math teacher. One plus two equals me and you
  • Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
  • Stop being a zombie. Find something that you’re excited about in your life; otherwise, you’re just walking dead.
  • I put my best foot forward, then my worst foot after that, then my best foot again.
  • Insecurities can make even the smartest and most beautiful person foolishly question themselves despite how amazing they truly are.
  • Mental stimulation and an emotional connection between two people trump a physical and love connection any day. However, having all of the above is even more powerful and meaningful;
  • Consider yourself blessed.
  • Even the most beautiful people will have at least some insecurity, whether they admit it or not.
  • People won’t always love you. They may love what you bring to the table and love what you may do for them, but that doesn’t mean they love you. Learn the difference, my friends.
  • Before spending time trying to find someone, you must first find yourself.
  • Make sure to savor all your special moments, step outside of yourself, and bask in your own presence, while it’s still present.
  • Let’s just stay friends=never talk again.
  • I know you are a sensitive person but no worry I am Sensodyne to your sensitivity.
  • People are people but my fellows are really fellows.
  • Not all the best moments are created with the one you love, some are created with true friends, a blissful beach, and some beer for sure!
  • You laugh. I laugh. You cry. I cry. You jump off a really tall cliff. I yell, “Do a flip!”
  • Finding friends with same mental disorder is priceless.
  • I hope you dance like no one’s watching because they’re not—they’re taking selfies.
  • People are like Oreos. The good stuff is on the inside.
  • Friends buy you lunch. Best friends eat your lunch.
  • Friends come and go, like the waves of the ocean… But the true ones stay, like an octopus on your face.
  • I don’t know what’s tighter, our jeans or our friendship.
  • Round up the usual suspects.
  • I’m as mad as hell, and I’m not going to take this anymore!
  • Houston, we have a problem.
  • I’ll get you, my pretty, and your little dog, too!
  • You had me at ‘hello’.
  • There’s no crying in baseball!
  • You can’t handle the truth!
  • Tell ’em to go out there with all they got and win just one for the Gipper.
  • Life is a banquet, and most poor suckers are starving to death!
  • I’m the king of the world!
  • Mama always said life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.
  • Toto, I’ve got a feeling we’re not in Kansas anymore.
  • Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
  • I’m actually not funny, I am just mean and people think I’m funny!
  • I’m a smart person, I just do stupid things.
  • Dear Lord, there is a bug in your software… it’s called Monday, please fix it.
  • Dear Lord… please give me some patience NOW…NOW…NOW….
  • I look at people sometimes and think ….. Really?? That’s the sperm that won.
  • How do people write an autobiography? I can barely remember what I had for lunch yesterday.
  • The first five days after the weekend are always the toughest.
  • Friday is my second favorite F word.
  • It’s funny how people judge other’s mistakes while they also do the same thing.
  • If you love something, let it go. If it comes back, it was meant to be. If it does not, hunt it down & kill it.
  • Don’t interrupt someone working intently on a puzzle. Chances are, you’ll hear some crosswords.
  • I am a ninja. No, you are not. Did you see me do that? Do what? Exactly
  • How do I feel when there is no Coffee? DEPRESSO.
  • Life happens. Coffee helps.
  • Be a Warrior, not a Worrier.
  • I’m a big fan of whiteboards. I find them quite remarkable.
  • If you fall, I will be there. Signed: Floor.
  • All we have is NOW.
  • When you are Downie, eat a brownie.
  • You are one in a melon.
  • I tried to embrace my inner child today and the little asshole bit me.
  • Run like you stole something.
  • I hate it when I gain10 lbs for a role and then I realize I am not even an actor.
  • Dear life, when I said, “Can my day get any worse?” it was a rhetorical question, not a challenge.
  • My life is a constant battle between my love for food and not wanting to get fat.
  • There are two rules in life. 1. Never give out all the information. 2. —
  • Stop worrying about the world ending today. It’s already tomorrow in Australia.
  • On Mercury, a day lasts 1,408 hours. Just like Monday does on Earth.
  • There should be sympathy cards for having to go back to work after vacation.
  • You can’t buy a business but you can buy a plane ticket and that’s kind of the same thing.
  • Overpack. It’s why suitcases have wheels now.
  • Age only matters if you’re a cheese.
  • I like rumors. I find out so much about me that I didn’t even know.
  • I’m old enough to know better. But young enough to do it anyway.
  • That awkward moment when you’re wearing Nike’s and you can’t do it.
  • Just dropped my new single! It’s me. I’m single.
  • Be savage, not average.
  • I was addicted to the hokey pokey but I turned myself around.
  • I know I’m a handful but that’s why you got two hands.
  • Every 60 seconds, there’s a b-tch posting a positive message that she doesn’t live by.
  • Never let anyone treat you like a yellow Starbust. You are a pink starburst.
  • The most important thing is to enjoy your life – to be happy – that’s all that matters.
  • Take every chance you get in life, because some things only happen once.

Related Posts

Post a Comment